I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
