Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Fuck appropriateness.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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