I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
