i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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