Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
