I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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