Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
