I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
