i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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