How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
