Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
