I've blown a few things in my day
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize