He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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