I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
