That's intense
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
