What a fucking waste of an outfit
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
