Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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