"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
