so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
