i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am naked and annoyed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
