I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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