hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
