We won't sleep together?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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