So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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