Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
