New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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