He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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