The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
