You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize