I didn't shave. On purpose
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found puke in my bra..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
