wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Randomize
