Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
