You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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