Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
as a side note pls kill me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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