the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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