I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
