They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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