Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
