whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
