Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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