My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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