he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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