That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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