i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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