Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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