Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
