Screwed.edu
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
