You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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