it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
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