he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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