i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
