I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
