i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
