You just made me feel so damn special
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize