I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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