quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
