Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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