Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
