Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
