i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
