I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
