i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
