Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize