I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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